"It Can't Be Wrong"...the sentiment of "It can't be wrong, the way I feel about you, even if it's only in my mind" came to me as a message in two forms. My grandmother had recently passed and the experience of cleaning out her home after her death, sifting through all the memories and things left behind; a lifetime of rich experience now just embodied in things and stuff, reminders of her life. It was bizarre, and I'm sure many of you have gone through the same with your grandparents or parents.
"Fading photos, dirty frames, bits and bits of conversation
A closet full of pretty clothes that no one’s gonna wear
Your favorite painting’s on the wall, stares at me I can’t look away
You see the darkness that never ever fades"
This verse speaks directly to that experience of going through my grandma's things; when walking through her house after she passed, it felt like she was looking through the paintings on the wall watching me and my brother handle what was left. And the feelings I had for her, that I previously could express to her directly suddenly had no place to go, except for in my own mind. The song then became about holding onto your love for a passed loved one.
The song was partially completed when I sat down with long time friend Ken Hauptman and the melody began to shape and take life; although there was something incomplete about the song. I kept playing it over time, and on a trip to NYC - I spent some time with a dear friend who had lost her son recently to suicide. She described her love for her son, and the intense pain of his loss that affects her life on a daily basis. Her friends want her to forget about it, move on...probably because they don't want to see her in pain; yet how can you just move on from the loss of your son. It's not something you move on from, it's something you live with. I played part of the song to her, and after that she asked if I would write a song about her son. I felt this song was also about her son, and the right to hold onto your love for the passed. The second verse describes loosing your faith, set at the grave site.
"Cluttered whispers suffocate, I try to stand on hollowed ground
On my knees I fall to pray but no one ever hears
Intoxicating, medicating, I’ll stop at nothing to keep us alive
Your breath still lingers though you surrendered, you’re running through my veins"
Many of my songs depict the difficult struggles in life; to me it's real and insane to ignore them...but in the end it's how we deal with them and finding a way for it to be OK, and continue on so you can still experience joy. I'd called this song the black sheep of the album, and the reason for that is it doesn’t get the attention of a hit single, it's a more precious personal journey. I still love this quaint song, and miss performing it.
Dedicated to the loving memory of JJ and Rose.
